Top Secret Cows: MK Scientists Gone Wild...

  Ever had that feeling of being watched? Kind of like your every move was known to someone, that your every habit was being critiqued and taken note of? Ever believed that someone could tell exactly what you were thinking just by watching, and studying, your facial expressions? I have, and I know that all those feelings are true.
  I can't tell you my real name...it might get out. I could be fired, or worse, I might mysteriously disappear. So for now, I'll stick to the name Sandy. I'm seventeen. I'm a child genius with a PHD in Science. You would never dream what my brain can do by just looking at me. Most people think I'm your average high schooler. That's my cover life. They don't realize that I can do all of my homework in forty-five minutes flat, hack any computer system on the planet (I don't care where you're from or what level of security you have to government secrets), and build microscopic cameras when I'm not on a "job". Don't doubt my abilities, and I won't doubt yours.

(Island of the COSIMK)

  This year I went to my usual appointment with my leader from the board of COSIMK (Central Organization of Surveillance and Infiltration of Missionary Kids). He's a funny little Irish man with flaming read hair, and the best dry sense of humor ever. His sarcasm is so distinct, so sly that sometimes you might miss it. And he seems tough as nails, but underneath he's a sweet old man that cares an awful lot more than you might believe. Anyway, Dr. Harry (not his real name) told me about a new project that they wanted me and some other scientists like me to work on.
  When he first described it to me I thought he was joking...I seriously thought he was trying to get my goat. I thought it was that incredible sarcasm of his. When I finally realized that he was serious I sat there dumbfounded! And when the project actually worked I almost couldn't believe my eyes. I'd thought Dr. Harry was crazy, and you'll think I am by the time I'm done. But I'm not; I promise...just give me a chance to explain it to you, because once you get beyond the craziness it's just plain brilliant!
  It all starts with cows. Yes, you don't have to re-read that to be sure you read the right thing, and I didn't make a typo and really mean corn either. Cows. Dr. Harry and the rest of the COSIMK wanted us to alter cows, to make a special kind of cow. Why cows? Of what use or interest could the possibly be to us as a secret group out to conquer? Scroll down and see for yourself.

(secret barn of cows belonging to COSIMK)

• Fact: Every nation in the world either has a cow, wants a cow, needs a cow, or has heard of a cow.
• Fact: Cows are, for the most part, timid, well bred animals with a friendly disposition. 
• Fact: Cows are the kind of creature that no one would ever suspect as a culprit in an undercover mission.
• Fact: Science has advance a lot over the past fifty years.
• Fact: Chimpanzees are outdated. People need to be original.

  So what exactly did Dr. Harry and the rest of the COSIMK want us, the brilliant scientists, to do with these cows? They wanted us to make low water cows. That's right, your eyes are not deceiving you. They wanted us to breed and alter a cow so that it would:

1. Consume less water.
2. Gain and maintain the IQ of an 8th grader.
3. Continue to look like any other cow around it. 

  I thought the Dr. was nuts, we all did actually (there were five of us), but what can you do when you're ordered to do something like this by the most powerful, secret, and dangerous group of people on earth?! We complied. We did as we were told. We obeyed orders. Did we actually believe that it would work? No. Definitely no. The first few days we just messed around. We read a few of the pages in the folder given us, played chess, and hacked several computer systems. Eventually I got bored and took to reading the folder instead, hoping to get some amusement or pleasure out of it. The more I read, the more I began to realize just how plausible this experiment was. So I tried it, gently at first, then full on. It worked! The cows responded exactly as expected! They began to learn how to talk, consumed no more than one cup of water a day, and started to memorize certain math equations, even began to work on Algebra and a little geometry. I showed my colleagues and we dove head into the project. I got so excited about it all that I even got a B in History at school! So, why the excitement about low water cows? They could be and are such a break through!

• Fact: There is an inadequate access to safe drinking water for about 884 million people, and inadequate access to water for sanitation and waste disposal for 2.5 billion people. 
• Fact: If cows drink less, less water will be consumed, therefore people in need of water and meat will more easily be able to keep a cow!
• Fact: If cows can be altered like this, doesn't it there follow that other animals and possibly even humans can be adjusted to using and consuming less water? 

  I must run! The Transportation Vehicle to take me to work will be here any minute. Believe me or don't, but wait and see! We're still working on the cows and one of these days they'll be the engineers building your skyscrapers and designing your highways!
  Side note: The PK's are struggling frantically to keep up with us, but so far all they've accomplished is having their cow attain the ability to survive on two cups of water a day and recite the alphabet over and over again. When will they understand that they just can't win?!

(Idea dedicated to G.C. for having first listened to it)