Give me everything...

I heard a whisper
it would not go away
it told me of secrets
and asked for something dear...I hid.

I heard a shout
it would not be quieted
it told me it loved me
and asked for something dear...I ran.

I came upon
a soft, firm hand
it knocked out my breath
and asked for something dear...I cried.

So gently,
so extremely loving and kind
but firm and unwavering
the request was made again...I wept.

Something inside me
seemed to rip, my heart was now in two
and everything I had was gone
I'd relented, surrendered all.

He smiled.
At me.
I stopped.
And I stared.
At Him.
I was free!

Sliding up the Banister

Sliding
up the banister
it's hard
to see
where I'm going.
Not sure
how it works
how I climb
instead
of slipping.
A force
that I see not
is what
urges,
encourages me on.
It never
gives up or falters,
never lets me
fall in dust
at the bottom.
It's amazing,
incredible,
it's beyond
my human
understanding...

As,
you see,
I slide up the banister!

My eyes...

My eyes plead innocence 

My smile claims beauty

My heart still knows its worth

Unspoiled and untouched

I am beautiful

I am unique.

No trauma or pain have touched me

No crisis of identity

Or loss of self esteem

Has taken over

Who I think I am

I'm a princess, and I know it!

Languages...

Languages
We listen to them, hear their sounds
know their roots.

Love and hate
their tones, their rules, their every word
that they say.

Comparing,
lost in a world of difference
we probe them.

But did we
ever stop and think that He has
made them all?

Hear them now,
they reflect their maker, praise Him
show you love.


The harsh notes,
the poetry being sung now,
intricate
sentences, that fill up your ears,
short, swift words,
crazy letters, difficult rules,
they all speak
as they surround and swallow me.
They tell me
of beautiful secrets
and of love.

(photo disclaimer: this image does not belong to me. Belongs to: http://atrocitynews.files.wordpress.com/2007/09/inclusion-hands.jpg)

Near Enough to Touch...

I want the beauty, the glory

to be

so close

close enough to reach out

so near

near enough to touch.

I long for the power, the justice

to be

so clear

clear enough to see them

so strong

strong enough to never fade.

I ask for the mercy, grace and love

to be

within reach

I'm reaching out for them

on the point

the point of everlasting.

Wind Chimes

Wind chimes...I often think of those days. They're like a dream. Not a bad dream, a good one, a peaceful one, one where hardly anything ever seems to go wrong or feel rotten. If I go back far enough, concentrate hard enough, close my eyes and try as I listen to those same wind chimes...then I can smell the dirt, the trees, and the freshly cut grass. I can feel the soft summer wind on my hot skin. I can watch the long summer days fade by slowly. They were happy ones.

Forts, water, acorns and mud pies were the most I usually did. Long hikes over our land, or sitting in a tree writing poetry, or building "forts" out of broken branches, and picnics under the cool shade of a maple tree...they're all good memories. When barbed wire fences, and chokecherries were a fact of life. When chicken plucking was a normal summer activity. Wasps were an inevitable evil...but they announced the arrival of summer. Swings, slip-n-slides, and sprinklers to run through were always available...

Those were good days...it's nice to remember them!

Voice

Up and down, the tones go on

filled with dread

and filled with love.

Peace may come in

peace may fade away,

sound is not the issue here.

The tone, the laugh,

the tears tell all.

No need to see or watch 

the face.

Its owner need not tell

the truth.

Ears and heart

spirit and mind,

when put to use and understood,

can tell every unsaid thought

and discover the secrets

in the voice of much emotion.

Butterflies...

Butterflies, in a cage,
flit and fly
and run away

Some grow tired and old
others are new and young.

Butterflies in a cage,
flit and fly
and run away...

Faster than I can catch them!

Stare Me in the Face

(this is inspired by an exercise a speaker had my class do while I was in Australia)

Stare me in the face

and tell me what you see.

Do you see beauty or pain?

Is there relentless hope,

or hopeless relentlessness?

How much faith does it display?

Does love pour out,

or hide away?

Do you really look and search

or only ask with words?

How am I?

What have I been doing?

Is there honesty,

or are there superficial smiles?

Beneath it all, in the end,

we all know the truth.

So stare me in the face

and tell me what you see...

I dare you!

10/11/10 - MK vs. PK. Dude, what's the deal?!

  Yo, dude, 'sup?! It's too dangerous to talk like myself, so I'm not gonna do it! Name's "Lance", I'm 24, and we'll just pretend that I come from California in the sweet old U.S. of A! I live by the beach, surfing is my hobby...
  Did you know that looks are deceiving? You should. I know it, I've been deceiving people ever since I was 15.

• Why? Cause I'm a specialist for COSIMK (Central Organization of Surveillance and Infiltration of Missionary Kids). 
• In What? I'm good with numbers. 
• My Mission? Simply this: confuse, confound, and otherwise make more difficult the lives of our rivals, the PK's!

  My job really isn't that difficult. It doesn't take much to get them going. It doesn't take much to get them confused and overwhelmed by the odds. Dude, if I, being the specialist I am, told them that the world were starting to spin slower than before, they'd believe me in a heartbeat! In saying all this, I do have to admit that they're not stupid, just slightly vulnerable. So what was my plan? What did I tell them this time? For starters, they all believe that I'm in charge of Intelligence Operations in Southeast Asia. These are the highest level of security, and the most dangerous to have information on. But see, they don't know what they think they know: the extent of our Intelligence Infiltration. 
  We, COSIMK, have this secret operation called 10/11/10, which is code for some coordinates on the map. My job was to make them believe that it was the date we would carry out our secret operation, even though said operation is already being carried out. 


Dude Factors:

1. The PK's always have planted spies in our operations. Most of them are PK's that have also been MK's or the other way around. In other words, all the REALLY confused people...
2. We know which people these spies are.
3. Spies always ask too many questions.
4. I only share the information that I want others to know. 
5. Always say on "accident" what you really want known.

  It was quite simple really. I left little reminders on my computer screen and in my locker that said nothing more than 10/11/10. I crumpled one up and threw it in the trash. The crumpled one disappeared. The reminders were moved. I got upset, I took down the reminders, I hid away my calender, and caused a scene in my office. But inwardly, I knew I'd won! I have a bug planted in their office. I was there when the spy presented his information...
  
  "Look!" He said, with a thick Norwegian accent. "Big Shot had these all over the place. This is what I've been waiting for, for so long. I knew he was working on the secret operation, I just couldn't get any info. on it...look at it! It's got to be a date!"
  "Well," Came a long American drawl. "I suppose that means they're going to carry out his operation on October 11th..."
  Silence.
  "What do you mean October 11th? It says 10/11/10..." Amazement was in the voice of the Norwegian spy. 
  "Exactly," Came the drawl again, tone slightly changed to patronizing. "Tenth month, eleventh day, of the ten-"
  "No, no, no! You've got it wrong!" Came the exasperated to spy. "Tenth day, of the eleventh month, of the-"
  "What?! Now listen here, I don't know how they do things in your country, but in mine..."


  From there I tuned out with a smile. Two hours later when I checked in they were still at it! Voices hoarse, minds confused. 


  This is "Lance", signing out! Peace man! Stay sweet!

The Train

I hear the brakes, the wheels screech
Slowly, slowly, I come to a halt.
I look around, I know this place.
My heart beats faster, my breath grows short.
It's love. Not at first sight, but without a doubt.

Where did it come from?
When did it start?
See that street? I know it. I walk it.
See those flowers and that roof?
I'll never forget them, it's not even possible.
See those drains, those stains?
One for water, the other from fire.

Here secrets were told.
Here secrets were made.
Here secrets were kept.

And then, as if in a dream,
I lean out the window of memory
And my open eyes deny the truth.

Faded, but still clear, walls disappear.
Trees shrink, and I see something else...
Beautiful, yet gray, bright and far away
Old laughs and jokes, tears and suffering.

They're all there
They'll always be there.
No matter what might change.

And now I hear the whistle call
The engine starts
The conductor shouts
I jump at the sound of his voice!
Slowly, as the wheels turn
My head creeps back in
My train is off again!

What's next? I know not.
But it was nice to stay, nice to see
It was nice to whisper: I love you...

Depression

Depression. 

It aches, it tears at you. 

It sits idly by 

watching as you sink deeper and deeper in. 

It takes your hand 

and whispers bitter-sweet nothings in your ear. 

It has no pity. 

It has no love. 

It feeds your love of self. 

Your desperation makes it laugh. 

Your faith in self affects it not. 

It's like a silent, peaceful bird

It's a roaring beast out to kill.

It cares not 

for what you think or feel

Despite the lies it tells.

And yet you 

can do nothing against it

cannot fight it

cannot defeat it.

It's stronger, it is more cunning.

It seeks destruction

and its power is death...

But did you know there's always hope?

(for several friends, but especially E.M.)

I do.

Do you remember those days,
when life was young and bright?
Do you remember those faces,
when decisions were not your own?
When minds were innocent,
but not ignorant?

When eyes were not so blind?
When ears weren't quite so deaf?
Do you remember those hearts
that laughed and dreamed so clear?

Do you remember?

I do.

And I must admit
that sometimes
I miss those days...

One by One...

One by one I watch them fall.

Piece by piece they crumble and shake.

Anger wells

and grief pools.

Desperation grows

and apathy tries to latch on.

It's not a lie:

This battle's more than flesh and blood.

My hands cannot reach out,

no longer turn and grasp.

But with love

and tears

they can clasp,

they can reach up.

And hope?

There's always hope.

One by one I watch them fall.

Piece by piece they crumble and shake.

But with hands

and love.

With tears

and faith.

Walls can be rebuilt.