A Letter to You...

(I wrote this a while ago about a wedding that, to me, feels more like a funeral or pre-funeral. My friend that it's addressed to doesn't speak English and will never read it. But I needed to put it up anyway. Thanks for reading...)

A day of joy with laughter
Should be the day approaching
With love and songs rejoicing
Should such a day be marked.

Faith holds true, but hope deserts me
And my heart, I know, does not lie
it feels a burden, a deep burning cry
My ears hear the toll of a bell.

This not the first, nor the last
Is a day of many tears
Which will be constant throughout the years
A part of me has died today.

What happened and when?
I've asked it many times
Searched for the reason why such a crime
Should ever be permitted.

But it's not my place
To choose your choice
My opinion I can voice
But all the rest is up to you.

I stand by you now,
I always will,
With a love no trial can ever kill
I'm always here for you.

Like from a nightmare
I wish to awake
I cannot run, I can't escape
It's one dream to which I must know the end.

My heart is broken
As you stop and take the vow
Never felt such agony as now
Love has a price, it's pain, that's the truth.

Goodbye
I love you.
God help you!
I cannot...

Imagine This

All the faces you've ever seen, all the people you've ever known or loved, and all those conversations, thoughts, and feelings you have begin to blend together. The faces seem to melt and merge with each other like wax. All the feelings and love begin to mix together until you feel sick: it's like the smell of dirty feet joining with the fragrance of a sweet perfume.

Your eyes are blurry, your mind explodes in thought, and your heart goes numb. The water you put in the freezer has hardened, but the oil is still soft, slick, and boiling. That love and hate that you carry inside have colided and you're at a loss as to what to do. You can't escape what you're feeling and you can no longer see clearly or hear precisely what's being said, though voices and words to fill the voices never seem to cease. Your world has flooded and the waves are getting bigger.

The waves are memories. You're a grain of sand on the beach being refined by the constant crashing back and forth. And it hurts...but the beautiful sunsets make it so worth the pain...

A Pianist...

Passion, bitterness
you pour it all
into one sweet melody.

Strength in your fingers
expressing
what you cannot.

Keys come alive
as you touch them
they fly.

Speaking truth
and wearing no mask
laughing as they travel.

This is how you face
what most
cannot bear to see.

On and on
the music sings
aching and soothing.

Desperate to let go
longing to hold tight
this is your moment...your song...your life...you are brave...

Sun

Clouds come, I watch it

through the haze.

Slowly, faithfully

it burns all haze away.

As it dances

teasing me across

the field

I bend my cheek

it kisses my face

I long to stare

to turn my full gaze

as deep as I did

in the midst of the haze

but brilliant

far too brilliant

is the beauty

that meets my eyes.

It shines far above

and I, a mere human

love, yet can not bear

the full power of its warmth.

It plays along the water

a sweet song I see

but do not hear

not with a mortal ear.

It laughs through 

the trees, makes

jewels come alive.

All things grow towards it

all diminish and fade

in the depth of its light,

without it there is no beauty.

And at night, in the dark

it takes no rest

it needs no rest

I see it still

reflected high

looking calmly, peacefully

down on me. 

Then, and only then

in the shadow of its might

can I turn and have my fill

in the stillness of the night.

For its rays and its beauty

are only a taste and a touch

of your greater 

much greater glory.

How Many More?

How many more?
My heart weighs heavy,
my soul screams out,
my mind rages
in anger,
in grief,
in strong disbelief.

What happened,
and why?
What went wrong?
Hear my cry!

How many more?
How many will fall?
Believing lies
not esteeming
their hearts
their minds
their singular beauty.

What happened
and why?
Who planted
that sad lie?

How many more?
Though faith overwhelms,
and love consumes
the question continues
in my anger,
in my tears,
in my grief filled heart.

What happened?
Father, why?
Draw them close,
hear their cry...

Here it comes...

Here it comes!

It's coming hard,
It's coming fast,
It never slows,
It won't stop,
It cannot be held back!

It waits for no one,
has much to say...
It's beautiful,
painful,
and, oh, so short!

Its love is life,
Its end, at times,
is death...
It cannot be bribed
or borrowed.

Can you see it?
Can you hear it?
It's the future!